January 20, 2008

Everything seems to be dying, on me.

Maybe, today isn't really my day.

As the above title states, everything seems to be dying on me. Just to state some, my MP3, my games (ie. Patching problems), the dark skies, the hi-fi radio, the Playstation, my internet modem seems to like disconnecting me and a lot more other crap. What have I done to deserve all this? I'm only a normal guy, trying to get through life with my crappy looks, trying to take care of my family as the man of the house, trying to study hard and maybe I just tried too hard.

Must I be more than normal? Abnormal? Mentally Retarded?

Honestly, I can't find a friend to talk with. And sorry Suying, for asking you that stupid question, it was too hasty I know. Can you forgive me? I just want us to be just best friends, and nothing else.. I promise that I'll won't meddle with your affairs. I can't believe I'd be so immature to even ask that question.. I'm really sorry!

I just wish that everything that happened today, would just fade away the next day. It's really hard being me, just put yourself in my shoes. Only some of my friends would understand. I really envy those guys who are pampered, rich and have a full family. I'm even struggling with life, when I'm studying.. This really sucks.

I had to punch the wall today. I was too stressed, my maid was crying again, because her arm was really giving her hell. I helped her, massaged her arm and took care of her. But, my mind was really going nowhere. So I had to punch the wall, several times, to wake myself up. It's a childhood habit, so don't be surprised by that.

Every pain, every problem, ended with every punch I done to wall. I hope I did the right thing, although some people doesn't like me punching the wall. I punched the wall, to be exact, 10 times, with my right fist. I didn't cry, men are not supposed to cry while they're in pain. We must be strong, we must not cry, not give up. I'm not gonna give up too, I'm gonna live life like there's nothing to lose.

This is not an emo post, like what you guys love to say. This is a blog, and I'm only just stating my current situation.

To you guys out there, please treasure your loved ones. Treasure them till you've no regrets when they passed on. I lost 2 of my loved ones, my grandmother and my only friend, who understood me, seen my situation and cared for me. Even if I can't see them, I know that they revolting around me, still answering my prayers for them.

For now.. I'll just move on with life, like normal.

Thanks for visiting and may God bless you.

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