April 11, 2007

I'm still lamenting today.
The feeling in me just wants me to punch the freaking wall.
I should not have retain, whether for a good or bad cost.
If i stayed on, i could have become a Venture and continue my studies.
Yeah, i really feel like slapping myself now.
Hey, actually, i already did it.
I deserve it.
It's all my fault, all my wrong doings, all my laziness.
Why can't i just wake up last year.

And now, i tried my best to fight for becoming a Venture.
The expression on Hong Liang's face just killed me.
I do not wish retain another year.
My foundation for almost all my subjects is so low, that i can even fail a Sec 2 Maths exam.
My hope in getting into Ventures is so that i can concentrate on my studies and have more time to tutor Swee Hong as a PL.
Hong Liang, if you are reading this, although you will not, i really want to be a Venture.
Please don't compare me with Weijie, he has not even perform his term of office and i already done so.
If Weijie complains, i'll compensate him for sure.
All i need is more free time, more time to study, more time to rest.

I'm still scared.
My brain's still racking.
My heart is beating slowly.
I'm not calm.
I'm not happy, that's for sure.
I'm feel like there are thorns stuck all over my head.
You try to pluck them all, but to no avail, it's impossible to pluck them all without a mirror.
That mirror, is my only hope.
That only hope..
.. has just vanished.

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