February 21, 2009

Bewildered thoughts.

Good evening, blog.

Today was a weird day. I had all these thoughts that came racing through my mind during Flag Day. Then I came to realize, I rather be alone. I have no idea why. I want a friend who could appreciate and respect my decisions. I wanted to just enjoy Flag Day by going around and asking for contributions. In the end, I got influenced into going back home. While on the train, I thought to myself.. "Wouldn't it be fun if we all go out and sweat our butts off while asking for contributions?". But on second thoughts, breaking the mood would be a bad idea.

I want to be a good person and a compassionate one. Not one who doesn't give a damn to practically everything. Somehow, the simpler my goal is, the harder it is to achieve.

A goal, huh. It is always easier to say than done. I want to be an Interior Designer. Designing is kinda like my thing, my hobby especially. I love to draw, serious. Although I couldn't draw as well as Mengci or others, I still try to hone my skills at it. It's definitely something I can get interest in and get involved. And.. To achieve this goal, I must pass my O levels with at least <15 points! This isn't my only goal.

My next goal is to slim down. I'm tired of my appearance, the body especially. It's really depressing to meet people who despise you of your obesity. Jogging everyday around my house might not be enough. I'm gonna push myself, and to get that Silver NAFA certificate that I always wanted. A Gold is too much, too ambitious, but not impossible.

My last goal.. Is to be a more refined gentleman. I used to watch pornography in the past, quited it and ONCE AGAIN, got into it. This time, I'll quit it once and for all. *taps chest* I never really want to do THAT kind of stuff to my girlfriend at all, unless she allows it. The addiction is bad, and I'm glad I'm old enough to control myself. I'll try to lessen on my vulgarities, I'm not saying that I'll totally stop saying vulgarities, only on certain situations.

My goal to interior designing, slimming down and becoming a real gentleman depends on myself.

I can do it.

I'm not gonna follow that "person's" footsteps, irresponsible, ill-disciplined and gutless.

Gosh, I'm all cranked up.

Thanks blog, for everything.

Thanks Apex, for bringing us this Flag Day. I finally got my feelings sorted out and also had fun.

Thanks for visiting and may God bless you.


  1. just 2 days and u gave up your goal
    -.- still remembering your "dirty old man" face

  2. Chungaik - Well, at least I quit watching pornography.. =) I'll behave.

  3. Hey thanks a lot for the songs! =)

    And you know... When I was doing the flag day, I was wondering actually, why is it that most of the people who bothers to drop a coin into my can are the eldery, while some young people just gave me the super irritated look and turn away. And isnt APEX supposed to help the eldery!? Quite ironic huh.

  4. Jiemin - Haha, it's good that wealthy or middle class elders are willing to help their own people. Youngsters nowadays define elders as filthy, disgusting and crap like that. Just wait till they reach elder-hood, they'll feel the pain.

    And no problem, just helping you out yeah, you're welcomed ;)

  5. just today you were screaming out all the fugging words -.-