March 22, 2010


Hi there.

My current legit games, including Swee Hong's Diablo 2 [It's here anytime, so get it if you want]

I know I'm on hiatus for a long time. I've been trying to get myself together for these few months on my own. Nobody really helped though, since everyone were busy with stuff. In order to get myself back, I have TO BE myself. So, I played games almost forever. After getting back from work, I just start playing immediately. It's good that my workplace have a gaming display where I can play for people etc, but playing the same game for umpteen hours doesn't cut it. For a month, my head's overflowed with gaming. Gaming podcasts, gaming news, gaming stuff and everything else, gaming.

Long story short, I was unable to accept that I failed the O levels [Though I looked like I already accepted it]. I studied everyday, cranked my brain many times but I still can't squeeze everything into my head. Call me dumb, call me stupid but I did my best. I even ceased gaming for a month. Now, I was able to accept it and actually look on the bright side of me entering ITE [But during the ITE orientation, I met my first problem. No uniform sizes are suitable for me. Fucked up much?]. I'm immune to those who criticized and looked down on me, because I believe in karma. I'm not gonna start. I'm finally, gonna attend ITE with a clear mind, a clear goal and a new life regardless of obstacles. I was informed that I can take my O level certificate. Honestly, to me, it's worth nothing but trash. If I can get a job with those kind of qualifications, I'll do the death dance.

For a whole month, I've been sitting on my ass at work and at home. I did make some friends while working, but only acquainted. When the March holidays started, I wanted a sleepover gaming night with a group of friends. Initially, most of them agreed. At the final minute, some of them did not want to come and eventually left me and my friend to settle the problem. The feeling is easy to describe; I wanted to take a sledgehammer and smash a fucking brick wall. I felt betrayed and it was the past all over again. What can I do?

Some of you maybe thinking that I'm being dramatic and whatever. But this is MY blog, I rant when I want to, I celebrate when I want to and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

During this month, I learned many things. From games, from my seniors at work, from the skies and from the internet v-loggers. I became more fierce in my reply in forums and towards people, because a good friend told me, "You FUCK John, John FUCKS you.". Thanks Erin. I was too soft on myself and to other people. Honestly, I love my new personality. I feel awesome and people think twice before verbally abusing me. Thank goodness.

That's about it. It's a complete summary of my hiatus.

Thanks for reading. Peace out, bitches.

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