Good evening y'all.
It's approximately 11.56 am now. Oh well, today's papers are Physics/Chemistry and Maths Paper 1, all in a day! I know that other schools, or other classes are experiencing like 3-5 papers a day (I think..), but seriously, the Cambridge setters or whoever it is, should cut us some slack! I was already losing my concentration during the Maths Paper 1 and most of the time, I'm staring into blank space. What I'm saying is.. Leave one examination date specially for one particular subject.
Talk about papers..
The Physics paper was so darn easy.. I already estimated 19/20 for the MCQ section, and roughly 19-22 marks for Paper 2. That brings about a estimated total of 38-41 marks. Frankly speaking, I had never gotten a 19/20 for any kind of MCQ before. I was getting more borderline passes instead. But NEVERTHELESS, it's one of my biggest accomplishment of all time. Of course, I have to thank Mr Chan for making me stay back after school, you know, his "system" whereby if you failed his class test, you have to stay back after school till 5 or 6 pm. That helped me totally. It's like the facts and formulas are already embedded in my brain. It's just awesome.
Chemistry paper was mediocre. Wouldn't guarantee a high pass, most probably a borderline pass, like 25 - 27. To sum it up, I'm already getting like 61+ marks for Combined Science, which is B+ I think? Hopefully, it would be B3, so that I can take a load off my shoulders for a bit.
Okay, let's head on to the biggest bitch on the block. Maths!
Maths was a partial murderer. With its Algebra questions, I almost wanted bang my head on the table and hope that it was all over. Lucky me, the Algebra didn't conquer the whole damn paper, otherwise I would have been defeated. There were some questions that appeared rarely, which makes it not a difficult paper, but more like a recap on basics. Basics like, Integers, LCM, Bisectors and Ratio. Overall, it's a rather easy paper, but still, it's an inversed proportion. The easy it is, the harder it is as well, judging from personal experience. =D
Alright, so 3 papers down, 3 more to go.
History is on, this Thursday. I'm not planning to pass History, but since Mr Leong gave the History students some self-prepared notes (I think? Cause' I remembered seeing, "Thanks to Boon Keat or something"..) I'm just gonna flip through the pages, and just try to memorize some of the model answers. Gosh, I hate memorizing..
Maths Paper 2 is the shit. It's a much higher conversion of marks, compared to Paper 1. Upon conversion, 1 single mark could equate to 2-3 marks (I think). So, Paper 2 is PRECIOUS! Besides, Paper 2 is much easier.. Think of Simultaneous Equations, those juicy 4 marks. And if there's a graph to plot, another 3 more marks.. Probability questions, aww, just sweet. Not to mention, Cumulative Frequency! In conclusion? Paper 2 owns Paper 1! Paper 1 is a noob.
Whatever it is, guys! Just do your best. Reap what you sow. (I hope this idiom is used correctly.. LOL)
And lastly, just want share some videos. Haha, maybe to occupy you during the "2 days holiday"!
The Hardest Boss In Gaming History
Baby Gets Owned By Breakdancer
Stolen Newspaper Prank Call
Ventrillo Harressment
LOL - LMAO - ROFL
Enjoy the videos!
Thanks for visiting and may God bless you!
*oh man, I gotta sleep.. haven't slept the whole day..*
*zzzzz*
September 29, 2008
September 28, 2008
Toki no Kakera
Good evening y'all.
Tomorrow's the bitch! N levels starts tomorrow again!
Guys, do your best and good luck!
Here's a song to cheer you guys on!
It made me feel kinda happy. HAHA!
If you like it, you can request the song from me, tag, MSN or whatever.
That's all.
Thanks for visiting and may God bless you!
Tomorrow's the bitch! N levels starts tomorrow again!
Guys, do your best and good luck!
Here's a song to cheer you guys on!
It made me feel kinda happy. HAHA!
If you like it, you can request the song from me, tag, MSN or whatever.
That's all.
Thanks for visiting and may God bless you!
September 27, 2008
Maths !@#$
Good evening y'all.
Early in the morning, I went out with my mum to the Immigration & Checkpoints Authority (ICA) to renew my passport's expiry date. It took faster than I expected, I even thought that there was a need for new photographs of myself. Haha, in the future, I can go there myself!
So today, after reaching home, I just studied Maths for the whole afternoon. As I said, if I want secure a spot in Secondary 5, I have to rely on my best 2 subjects, and perfect them. Currently, the 2 subjects are Maths and D&T. I have no problem getting an A in D&T, all that's left for D&T is the theory paper which comprises 30% of the coursework. The other 70% goes into the folio that I've been working on for months, and I'm getting very good responses from it too, so it's pretty much settled. For Maths, I still have trouble understanding Algebra and Co-ordinate Geometry. Gonna practice it again tomorrow, and I'm settled for a B, or my goal, A2.
If I ever move on to Secondary 5, I have to sacrifice work, game time and sleep time to practice Humanities and Chemistry. I have no problem in Physics already. Humanities is the bitch, and Chemistry is just so-so. If I can go into Secondary 5, I'm gonna mug like mad. Haha.
Tomorrow will be another.. tiring day.
But fret not, my maid's cooking spaghetti!
One of my favorite dishes!
It's considered good luck to me! So thank you so very much!
That's all for today!
And.. I hope this skin isn't causing anyone problems yet. If it does, please tag!
Thanks for visiting and may God bless you!
Early in the morning, I went out with my mum to the Immigration & Checkpoints Authority (ICA) to renew my passport's expiry date. It took faster than I expected, I even thought that there was a need for new photographs of myself. Haha, in the future, I can go there myself!
So today, after reaching home, I just studied Maths for the whole afternoon. As I said, if I want secure a spot in Secondary 5, I have to rely on my best 2 subjects, and perfect them. Currently, the 2 subjects are Maths and D&T. I have no problem getting an A in D&T, all that's left for D&T is the theory paper which comprises 30% of the coursework. The other 70% goes into the folio that I've been working on for months, and I'm getting very good responses from it too, so it's pretty much settled. For Maths, I still have trouble understanding Algebra and Co-ordinate Geometry. Gonna practice it again tomorrow, and I'm settled for a B, or my goal, A2.
If I ever move on to Secondary 5, I have to sacrifice work, game time and sleep time to practice Humanities and Chemistry. I have no problem in Physics already. Humanities is the bitch, and Chemistry is just so-so. If I can go into Secondary 5, I'm gonna mug like mad. Haha.
Tomorrow will be another.. tiring day.
But fret not, my maid's cooking spaghetti!
One of my favorite dishes!
It's considered good luck to me! So thank you so very much!
That's all for today!
And.. I hope this skin isn't causing anyone problems yet. If it does, please tag!
Thanks for visiting and may God bless you!
September 26, 2008
Well.. There's 2 days left.
Good evening y'all.
Awww.. I'm having a cold.
Yeah, today morning was like.. some rain storm or something. I assumed that it would be some typical rain. But I didn't expect it to be that heavy! Practically everyone in 4D that came today got drenched all over, a few lucky ones didn't get drenched as much. We were allowed to air our shoes and be barefooted. Somehow, it seemed like a present from heaven. Man, being barefooted is kinda luxurious in a weird way. Even the school is giving us luxury, extra clothes, towels and some others that I did not catch. Whatever it is, today is kinda memorable. HAHA!
Well.. There isn't nothing special today. I'm just doing self-study most of the time.
Haha, don't call me emo or anything. This is me. I'm alone most of the time.
My mother had to work from day to night, working her butt off. Everytime I reached home, I go into my room and just do my usual stuffs. I did so much things alone, like solitaire, watching people downstairs, staring at clouds and yeah, just a boring yet simple life. At school, it's hard adapting to my friends, because most of them speaks Chinese, and I'm better at English than Chinese, so pretty much of the time, I'll mind my own business and just stare into blank spaces. This is what you would call a language barrier. It's not my fault that my Chinese isn't on par with my friends, I even tried to improve it.
My state of lonliness, called solitude, first happened when I was in Primary school. It was an all boys school. I wasn't the kind of dream boy, handsome guy or something. I was fat, tall and everyone just seems to depise me because of that. I remembered all the bad things that happened. I had no good friends, I have friends, but time in time, they backstabbed me and I was lonely for 2 years (Primary 5 and 6). I punched the wall, to get tougher and so that I could fight them when I was picked on. That's the reason why I'm quite a violent guy. But I use my fists to protect people and myself. When I was in Primary 5, I suffered punches to my arms and back for almost a year. I could not fight back, because it was like 2-4 people sparring on me. That's another reason, why I don't feel pain when I got whacked on the arms or the back. It's more like.. used to it or immune to it already. I was the only one of the few who went to Normal (Academic) after the PSLE. I was being laughed at, parents of other children staring at me, telling their children to forget me as a friend. That's where, my 6 years old Primary education ended. Those were the worst years I ever had.
Just when you're wondering, yeah, I got my first blog address from this incident. If you want to visit it, please do. Click here. Honestly, it's not chronologically reliable, because I really have a bad memory. At least, I tried. =]
I entered Gan Eng Seng School. Thinking that I'll start a new life, and be happy all the way. Secondary 1 was good, I had the most fun then and everyone was so cheerful. I really missed those times. All good things come to an end, at Secondary 2. It was mild, the changes were clearly visible. Till the day I retained, life wasn't going as what I wished. I entered 3D then, everyone was so friendly, and I really loved the warmth. But.. again, all good things come to an end, and day by day, it just gets worse.. Right now, my class isn't a whole already, it's split up into parts. For me, I'm just a standalone, wishing for the impossible, sweeping the class, lying to myself. Everytime I see friends fighting, it just hurts me. Once there was good friends, and now, just despicable. If I had a choice, I rather stay on as a Secondary 1 kid for the rest of my life. Those were the best memories, seriously.. Till now, I'm still a loner, but mildly happy.
I always head home, alone. In the bus, I'll just stick myself to a seat for an hour, until I reached my home. I have no close friends living next to me, so I have no company at all. I hate taking the MRT because of the seats are taken up most of the time and I had to stand. I hate standing, man.. Buses have scenery, stare at different kinds of people everyday and frequently, a good air-conditioner. Haha, don't blame me for being this. I'm a boring person, and a simple one. No doubt, my life's been filled with solitude and lonliness but at least, I find ways to entertain myself and still be happy.
I'm just hoping to find a friend, who is same as me. Maybe in the future? I don't know.. But, if he/she really exists, he/she would definitely be my best friend. Hoping to find you, one day..
Well.. It's getting late. Not gonna sleep yet. Gonna try and study Maths and Chemistry for awhile. I'm just gonna do my best for the N levels and see how's the outcome like.
2 days left to the N levels. Everyone mug hard for the last 2 days! Good luck!
Thanks for visiting and may God bless you.
Awww.. I'm having a cold.
Yeah, today morning was like.. some rain storm or something. I assumed that it would be some typical rain. But I didn't expect it to be that heavy! Practically everyone in 4D that came today got drenched all over, a few lucky ones didn't get drenched as much. We were allowed to air our shoes and be barefooted. Somehow, it seemed like a present from heaven. Man, being barefooted is kinda luxurious in a weird way. Even the school is giving us luxury, extra clothes, towels and some others that I did not catch. Whatever it is, today is kinda memorable. HAHA!
Well.. There isn't nothing special today. I'm just doing self-study most of the time.
Haha, don't call me emo or anything. This is me. I'm alone most of the time.
My mother had to work from day to night, working her butt off. Everytime I reached home, I go into my room and just do my usual stuffs. I did so much things alone, like solitaire, watching people downstairs, staring at clouds and yeah, just a boring yet simple life. At school, it's hard adapting to my friends, because most of them speaks Chinese, and I'm better at English than Chinese, so pretty much of the time, I'll mind my own business and just stare into blank spaces. This is what you would call a language barrier. It's not my fault that my Chinese isn't on par with my friends, I even tried to improve it.
My state of lonliness, called solitude, first happened when I was in Primary school. It was an all boys school. I wasn't the kind of dream boy, handsome guy or something. I was fat, tall and everyone just seems to depise me because of that. I remembered all the bad things that happened. I had no good friends, I have friends, but time in time, they backstabbed me and I was lonely for 2 years (Primary 5 and 6). I punched the wall, to get tougher and so that I could fight them when I was picked on. That's the reason why I'm quite a violent guy. But I use my fists to protect people and myself. When I was in Primary 5, I suffered punches to my arms and back for almost a year. I could not fight back, because it was like 2-4 people sparring on me. That's another reason, why I don't feel pain when I got whacked on the arms or the back. It's more like.. used to it or immune to it already. I was the only one of the few who went to Normal (Academic) after the PSLE. I was being laughed at, parents of other children staring at me, telling their children to forget me as a friend. That's where, my 6 years old Primary education ended. Those were the worst years I ever had.
Just when you're wondering, yeah, I got my first blog address from this incident. If you want to visit it, please do. Click here. Honestly, it's not chronologically reliable, because I really have a bad memory. At least, I tried. =]
I entered Gan Eng Seng School. Thinking that I'll start a new life, and be happy all the way. Secondary 1 was good, I had the most fun then and everyone was so cheerful. I really missed those times. All good things come to an end, at Secondary 2. It was mild, the changes were clearly visible. Till the day I retained, life wasn't going as what I wished. I entered 3D then, everyone was so friendly, and I really loved the warmth. But.. again, all good things come to an end, and day by day, it just gets worse.. Right now, my class isn't a whole already, it's split up into parts. For me, I'm just a standalone, wishing for the impossible, sweeping the class, lying to myself. Everytime I see friends fighting, it just hurts me. Once there was good friends, and now, just despicable. If I had a choice, I rather stay on as a Secondary 1 kid for the rest of my life. Those were the best memories, seriously.. Till now, I'm still a loner, but mildly happy.
I always head home, alone. In the bus, I'll just stick myself to a seat for an hour, until I reached my home. I have no close friends living next to me, so I have no company at all. I hate taking the MRT because of the seats are taken up most of the time and I had to stand. I hate standing, man.. Buses have scenery, stare at different kinds of people everyday and frequently, a good air-conditioner. Haha, don't blame me for being this. I'm a boring person, and a simple one. No doubt, my life's been filled with solitude and lonliness but at least, I find ways to entertain myself and still be happy.
I'm just hoping to find a friend, who is same as me. Maybe in the future? I don't know.. But, if he/she really exists, he/she would definitely be my best friend. Hoping to find you, one day..
Well.. It's getting late. Not gonna sleep yet. Gonna try and study Maths and Chemistry for awhile. I'm just gonna do my best for the N levels and see how's the outcome like.
2 days left to the N levels. Everyone mug hard for the last 2 days! Good luck!
Thanks for visiting and may God bless you.
September 25, 2008
Forget the past, live the present, plan the future.
Good evening y'all.
I see a glimmer of hope somewhere..
A big thank you to everyone who cheered me up, tagged me and contacted me. I'm alright, somehow. But fret not, I won't be a foolish asshole to jump off a building just because of life problems. I have to admit, everyone changed in one way or another. Starting life afresh seems to be the best solution, and yet too late. I guess everyone needs time to mature, understand and respect everyone. Time is the best solution..
Still.. It won't be easy to forget the past. A good life always comes with a bad memory, and good health. Bad memory to aid you in the faults that you have committed in the past and good health, of course, to enjoy life to the fullest. And lastly, it takes a lifetime to forget her, so don't force me. Heh.
So, examinations are starting next Monday. 3 papers in a day, oh my goodness.. It's not gonna be stressful, but instead, tiring. Somehow, this time table is screwed up. Why clash 3 papers in a day? The worst shit is that, Maths Paper 1 is on Monday and the Paper 2 is on another day! Oh man.. Meaning that, we have to revise fully for Paper 1, and another full revision for Paper 2 for the other day? I'm sure that Cambridge is not messing with us. The past N levels have been a breeze and a disappointment for many after their O levels. When they mean that the current N levels will be hard, I'm sure they do meant HARD.
Lastly, I gotta sleep.
WHATEVER.
Thanks for visiting and may God bless you!
I see a glimmer of hope somewhere..
A big thank you to everyone who cheered me up, tagged me and contacted me. I'm alright, somehow. But fret not, I won't be a foolish asshole to jump off a building just because of life problems. I have to admit, everyone changed in one way or another. Starting life afresh seems to be the best solution, and yet too late. I guess everyone needs time to mature, understand and respect everyone. Time is the best solution..
Still.. It won't be easy to forget the past. A good life always comes with a bad memory, and good health. Bad memory to aid you in the faults that you have committed in the past and good health, of course, to enjoy life to the fullest. And lastly, it takes a lifetime to forget her, so don't force me. Heh.
So, examinations are starting next Monday. 3 papers in a day, oh my goodness.. It's not gonna be stressful, but instead, tiring. Somehow, this time table is screwed up. Why clash 3 papers in a day? The worst shit is that, Maths Paper 1 is on Monday and the Paper 2 is on another day! Oh man.. Meaning that, we have to revise fully for Paper 1, and another full revision for Paper 2 for the other day? I'm sure that Cambridge is not messing with us. The past N levels have been a breeze and a disappointment for many after their O levels. When they mean that the current N levels will be hard, I'm sure they do meant HARD.
Lastly, I gotta sleep.
WHATEVER.
Thanks for visiting and may God bless you!
September 24, 2008
Worst day.
Good evening blog.
You know what. I just had the worst day of my life. It's kinda like multiple problems stacking up on each other, and just toppling all over. I'm bottling up my fears to let it out on a perfect day, but I didn't expect it to be today. Suying's death.. My health problems.. My family problems.. My studies, it just feels so heavy. And just right, a pencil case came flying straight into my penis, and fuck, it was the limit. I just broke down, not caring about other people's thoughts. Somehow, crying seem to be the best way to let out stress. I don't really care about people calling me a crybaby. I don't need pride, all I need to be is to be genuine and true to myself.
During recess, some guy even have the cheek to say her name in front of me. Seriously, haven't I suffered enough? Her loss was already bringing me down to my lowest, and I have to get even lower? Ever since her death, I have cried buckets, and buckets of water, and I still have to cry even more? Have you guys ever experienced losing a loved one? It's so painful, you wish that you could just commit suicide to ease the pain. And she's the only friend I had who recognizes my inner self, not caring about my physical appearances. She's the only one who loves me for whoever I am. This is what love is all about.. Our love knows no boundaries. So please.. For the final time, I wish that everyone can respect me by refraining from using her name. Respect me and I'll return the respect to you.
After I chased someone around just when CD is starting, I felt a pain in my belly. Which made me weak and vulnerable. Guys.. Please give my belly a break. Do you really want me to die of internal bleeding then you guys will be satisfied? I already recovered during July, no internal bleeding anymore. The problem came back when my belly got rammed.. Till now, the smell and the pain is unbearable. A surgery is needed to make a full cure of this problem, but I haven't met the surgeon yet, maybe after the N levels. So please.. Please leave my belly alone. You can punch, kick and smash my arms, legs, neck or head for all I care, but not my belly..
Sorry for creating a commotion in class.. I'm just really stressed.
And the counselor really helped me a lot. Thanks!
For now.. Can we make the best of our remaining days in school? I'm heading into ITE, no matter what result I have. I just feel that I'm more suited there than having to start revising all over again. It's still a dilemma, but hopefully I'll make the right choice.
Till then..
Thanks for visiting and may God bless you.
You know what. I just had the worst day of my life. It's kinda like multiple problems stacking up on each other, and just toppling all over. I'm bottling up my fears to let it out on a perfect day, but I didn't expect it to be today. Suying's death.. My health problems.. My family problems.. My studies, it just feels so heavy. And just right, a pencil case came flying straight into my penis, and fuck, it was the limit. I just broke down, not caring about other people's thoughts. Somehow, crying seem to be the best way to let out stress. I don't really care about people calling me a crybaby. I don't need pride, all I need to be is to be genuine and true to myself.
During recess, some guy even have the cheek to say her name in front of me. Seriously, haven't I suffered enough? Her loss was already bringing me down to my lowest, and I have to get even lower? Ever since her death, I have cried buckets, and buckets of water, and I still have to cry even more? Have you guys ever experienced losing a loved one? It's so painful, you wish that you could just commit suicide to ease the pain. And she's the only friend I had who recognizes my inner self, not caring about my physical appearances. She's the only one who loves me for whoever I am. This is what love is all about.. Our love knows no boundaries. So please.. For the final time, I wish that everyone can respect me by refraining from using her name. Respect me and I'll return the respect to you.
After I chased someone around just when CD is starting, I felt a pain in my belly. Which made me weak and vulnerable. Guys.. Please give my belly a break. Do you really want me to die of internal bleeding then you guys will be satisfied? I already recovered during July, no internal bleeding anymore. The problem came back when my belly got rammed.. Till now, the smell and the pain is unbearable. A surgery is needed to make a full cure of this problem, but I haven't met the surgeon yet, maybe after the N levels. So please.. Please leave my belly alone. You can punch, kick and smash my arms, legs, neck or head for all I care, but not my belly..
Sorry for creating a commotion in class.. I'm just really stressed.
And the counselor really helped me a lot. Thanks!
For now.. Can we make the best of our remaining days in school? I'm heading into ITE, no matter what result I have. I just feel that I'm more suited there than having to start revising all over again. It's still a dilemma, but hopefully I'll make the right choice.
Till then..
Thanks for visiting and may God bless you.
September 23, 2008
Bad, bad, bad.
Good evening y'all.
Once again, my belly bled again. I don't know why, but it's affecting my whole body. I can't describe the feeling, but it just feels like hell. The smell of it, just irks me. That's why I'm getting away from people, so that they won't feel irritated by the smell. I'm gonna feel like an outcast, once again. Oh well, it can't be helped. I'm one unlucky soul to be infused with this son of a bitch.
School today sucked so bad, I felt like snoozing throughout the day. I was having second thoughts about going into Secondary 5. Lots of things went through, but two in particular. Firstly, I detested the thought of having to do Humanities again in Secondary 5, even if I got promoted, I'm not sure how well I'm gonna do for Humanities in the O levels. Secondly and finally, my friends. I hate to leave my friends in order to move on to ITE. Even though it's only been 1 and a half year we had together, I still feel the bond and closeness with them. Sigh, why let society decide our future? I really don't see a need for Humanities in designing courses, yet I'm forced to study it. Yes, it helps you to make clever rebuttals and clear explanations, but the need for memorizing and so much more, just makes it a really tedious kind of subject.
The first period for today was Mother Tongue.. Boring as shit. The Chinese students were given worksheets for them to do. Some people slept, some people were quietly revising their work and I definitely was revising. I stared around when I was sick of revision, studied my friends' body language and behavior. It's really interesting, because there's so much reactions happening. The atmosphere in class today seems really.. Hmmm, how should I say it.. A clash of emotions and laughter, seems that way though..
The next two periods were Maths. Once again, I'm having the same thought that I had during Mother Tongue. Every single time I stare at an Algebra question, my mind starts race through millions of thoughts. Whether should stare at another Algebra topic in Secondary 5 or just go to ITE. In fact, I heard that ITE isn't a bad school, or rather.. institute. I read about a person's review on the ITE, read about it here. But fuck, my mind's in a dilemma right now. There are so many advantages and disadvantages of both choices, it's so hard to decide.. Oh my goodness.
Then it was Chemistry. It's true that Miss Mah doesn't show any commitment in teaching us already, but there's no reason why we should give Science up. But honestly, there are times that her monotonous voice can make me doze off like a finger snap.
Recess was next. As usual, sat on top of the teacher's console and just watch friends play their card games. I was listening to songs too.. Heh.
D&T was next. Nothing much though. Mun Tat loves to criticise Siraj lately. Haha, that's his retribution for bustering other people! Of course, I always get a share. Mun Tat practically criticised my mum's name throughout the lesson. Sigh, I wanted to take it lightly, but.. he's a good guy actually. I hate it when a particular guy laughs at you, he feels awesome, but if he gets laughed at, he doesn't feel good and switched to emo mode. So much for the lack of compassion and respect huh.. Being a Gessian is nuts, not everyone could possess the school values, what's the point of even placing the banners there. Even if you possess at least half or more of them, it's not like people are gonna recognise you for your efforts. Like they always say, the good will be rewarded.. Honestly speaking, I could understand why there are more defiant, rude and badass people out there than good ones. Need I say more?
After school, I went to the canteen to have my lunch. Suddenly, Chungaik came from behind and scared the shit outta me. And then came Hock Zheng and Boon Keat. Well, apparently, they are heading home and they are waiting for me. Haha, feel so "touched" everywhere (John's dirty thoughts). Boon Keat headed to the west side gate, while I walked with the rest to the other side gate. Exchanged good-byes and I headed for Justin's house for tutoring.
Damn, I was tempted once again by Rock Band 2 in Justin's house, but nevermind, school work comes first. After around 5 pm, I finally finished my tuition. Went to his gym to punch. I was feeling really stressed, and could not stop punching. My hand hurts right now, but it's part and parcel of boxing. Well, at least, I let out a lot of steam and felt awesome again. Went back home soon after.
Nowadays, I'm hiding my personal feelings. Dare not say it out to anybody. I guess I'm gonna do this for a few more years.. Can't understand why people say that a year is short. I always feel
that a year is TOO LONG, and many things could happen then. Sigh, once, a good friend of mine, by the name of Rachel, told me that what's the point of caring when you do not get cared. Yeah, it's pretty true, but I don't know why. I just want to care, and care, and care even till the day I die. I guess that's a special trait of me. But most people I see doesn't like to receive my care, most probably because I'm a bad-looking person, with a huge flabby stomach and fats everywhere. So much for that, I'm just a sucker for appearances and love. But fuck, I'm still living and that is all that matters.. Is it?
Well.. That pretty much sums up my post for today.
Still thinking whether it's ITE or Secondary 5 for me. Gonna try my best for N levels though..
Oh and I think I wrote the most shit for today. Sorry for the huge walls of texts! T_T
And here are the lyrics for my blog song.
Matchbox Twenty - Unwell
Lyrics:
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me
I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be (a little unwell)
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell
~
Thanks for visiting and may God bless you!
Once again, my belly bled again. I don't know why, but it's affecting my whole body. I can't describe the feeling, but it just feels like hell. The smell of it, just irks me. That's why I'm getting away from people, so that they won't feel irritated by the smell. I'm gonna feel like an outcast, once again. Oh well, it can't be helped. I'm one unlucky soul to be infused with this son of a bitch.
School today sucked so bad, I felt like snoozing throughout the day. I was having second thoughts about going into Secondary 5. Lots of things went through, but two in particular. Firstly, I detested the thought of having to do Humanities again in Secondary 5, even if I got promoted, I'm not sure how well I'm gonna do for Humanities in the O levels. Secondly and finally, my friends. I hate to leave my friends in order to move on to ITE. Even though it's only been 1 and a half year we had together, I still feel the bond and closeness with them. Sigh, why let society decide our future? I really don't see a need for Humanities in designing courses, yet I'm forced to study it. Yes, it helps you to make clever rebuttals and clear explanations, but the need for memorizing and so much more, just makes it a really tedious kind of subject.
The first period for today was Mother Tongue.. Boring as shit. The Chinese students were given worksheets for them to do. Some people slept, some people were quietly revising their work and I definitely was revising. I stared around when I was sick of revision, studied my friends' body language and behavior. It's really interesting, because there's so much reactions happening. The atmosphere in class today seems really.. Hmmm, how should I say it.. A clash of emotions and laughter, seems that way though..
The next two periods were Maths. Once again, I'm having the same thought that I had during Mother Tongue. Every single time I stare at an Algebra question, my mind starts race through millions of thoughts. Whether should stare at another Algebra topic in Secondary 5 or just go to ITE. In fact, I heard that ITE isn't a bad school, or rather.. institute. I read about a person's review on the ITE, read about it here. But fuck, my mind's in a dilemma right now. There are so many advantages and disadvantages of both choices, it's so hard to decide.. Oh my goodness.
Then it was Chemistry. It's true that Miss Mah doesn't show any commitment in teaching us already, but there's no reason why we should give Science up. But honestly, there are times that her monotonous voice can make me doze off like a finger snap.
Recess was next. As usual, sat on top of the teacher's console and just watch friends play their card games. I was listening to songs too.. Heh.
D&T was next. Nothing much though. Mun Tat loves to criticise Siraj lately. Haha, that's his retribution for bustering other people! Of course, I always get a share. Mun Tat practically criticised my mum's name throughout the lesson. Sigh, I wanted to take it lightly, but.. he's a good guy actually. I hate it when a particular guy laughs at you, he feels awesome, but if he gets laughed at, he doesn't feel good and switched to emo mode. So much for the lack of compassion and respect huh.. Being a Gessian is nuts, not everyone could possess the school values, what's the point of even placing the banners there. Even if you possess at least half or more of them, it's not like people are gonna recognise you for your efforts. Like they always say, the good will be rewarded.. Honestly speaking, I could understand why there are more defiant, rude and badass people out there than good ones. Need I say more?
After school, I went to the canteen to have my lunch. Suddenly, Chungaik came from behind and scared the shit outta me. And then came Hock Zheng and Boon Keat. Well, apparently, they are heading home and they are waiting for me. Haha, feel so "touched" everywhere (John's dirty thoughts). Boon Keat headed to the west side gate, while I walked with the rest to the other side gate. Exchanged good-byes and I headed for Justin's house for tutoring.
Damn, I was tempted once again by Rock Band 2 in Justin's house, but nevermind, school work comes first. After around 5 pm, I finally finished my tuition. Went to his gym to punch. I was feeling really stressed, and could not stop punching. My hand hurts right now, but it's part and parcel of boxing. Well, at least, I let out a lot of steam and felt awesome again. Went back home soon after.
Nowadays, I'm hiding my personal feelings. Dare not say it out to anybody. I guess I'm gonna do this for a few more years.. Can't understand why people say that a year is short. I always feel
that a year is TOO LONG, and many things could happen then. Sigh, once, a good friend of mine, by the name of Rachel, told me that what's the point of caring when you do not get cared. Yeah, it's pretty true, but I don't know why. I just want to care, and care, and care even till the day I die. I guess that's a special trait of me. But most people I see doesn't like to receive my care, most probably because I'm a bad-looking person, with a huge flabby stomach and fats everywhere. So much for that, I'm just a sucker for appearances and love. But fuck, I'm still living and that is all that matters.. Is it?
Well.. That pretty much sums up my post for today.
Still thinking whether it's ITE or Secondary 5 for me. Gonna try my best for N levels though..
Oh and I think I wrote the most shit for today. Sorry for the huge walls of texts! T_T
And here are the lyrics for my blog song.
Matchbox Twenty - Unwell
Lyrics:
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me
I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be (a little unwell)
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell
~
Thanks for visiting and may God bless you!
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